What does being a “Gentleman” really mean?

We’ve heard this term “Gentleman” crop up everywhere in every generation. However, what does this term actually mean? Research shows that Gentleman originates from the french term “Gentilz Hom”. Gentilz referred to a person who was born into a wealthy family and had a significant social stature. Because of their social stature, these high born men were expected to behave a certain way and carry their last name with dignity and respect.

So now that we’ve got the boring stuff out of the way, let’s get into what being a gentleman means in this day and age. Not much has changed in terms of the expectations that society has toward he who would call himself a “Gentleman”. Of-course, you don’t have to be born into a wealthy family to be a gentleman these days. Being a gentleman is about how you carry yourself and conduct yourself in public and your attitude toward others. Being seen as a gentleman will grant you instant respect and admiration from others even though they won’t show it outright. To be a gentleman is to have a gentleman mindset. This refers to the way you walk, the way you talk, what you say, how you say it and when you say it. Another fundamental characteristic of a gentleman is their ability to avoid awkward situations. Let’s face it, 90% of social awkwardness comes from what we say, how we say it, and when we say it. The Gentleman however, only speaks when he has something meaningful to say.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be highly educated to be a gentleman. Gentlemen are very well spoken. They don’t raise their voices or speak condescendingly. They simply speak in a clear and confident tone and speak in full sentences so as to not be misunderstood.

While it’s true that being a gentleman is a state of mind, there are some physical characteristics that also make up a gentleman. While most men practice basic personal hygiene, the gentleman goes a step further. Gentlemen prefer to keep their bodily hair under control by either trimming it down or waxing it off completely. That means chest, nether regions and under arms. When it comes to facial hair, gentlemen will either keep it clean or trim and shape it so as to still look classy and well groomed. Keeping a beard will also make you highly attractive to most ladies provided you keep it tidy by trimming,shaping, and using beard oils, etc. Neat & Tidy is the key term here. Every thing about a gentleman is neat, from the way he combs his hair to the clothes he wears. Looking “sharp” is when you wear clothes that fit you perfectly. Gentlemen avoid clothes that are too baggy or too tight.

So who says that all this is what a gentleman really is? You could say it’s my personal opinion or you could say it’s the general consensus. Either way, there is a major difference between being a man and being a Gentleman.

At the end of the day, being a gentleman is a choice. It is a conscious decision to be a sophisticated man for whatever reason. The most important thing to remember is that gentlemen are confident and have a high self-esteem.

Remember to always carry yourself with dignity and respect whether your a man or a gentleman.

 

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What does a Gentleman do in his free time?

Lifestyles are how we live our lives each and everyday. Every single person is living a lifestyle and each lifestyle is unique. Whether you spend most of your days playing extreme sports or spend most of your life playing video games, it’s all a lifestyle. We hear about healthy and unhealthy lifestyles on a daily basis. It is, however, much more desirable to live a healthy lifestyle than an unhealthy one, simply because a healthy lifestyle helps you live longer, makes you happier, and gives you overall more confidence.

A gentleman lives a healthy lifestyle, but what does a healthy lifestyle entail? A healthy life style consists of eating healthy food that raises your energy and helps your body function instead of damaging it. One must also consider fitting in sufficient social interaction into their life style, because no matter how introverted you are, we as human beings have a base need to be social even if it’s just for a short time. Sports and exercise is also included into a healthy life style. Most of us work for a certain amount of hours during the week. Work is incorporated into our lifestyle. What we do in the hours we are not working is called our free time. So what does a gentleman do in his free-time?

The gentleman practices a healthy lifestyle and therefore will spend some of his free time in the gym for a certain amount of hours per day. He will also take part in a sport. Whether is be an extreme sport such as skydiving, or a kickboxing class, or even golf, the gentleman needs to be physically active. Everyone is different and that goes for gentleman as well. Not all gentleman are the same. Some men prefer the outdoors, while others prefer dinner at a fancy restaurant. However, what all gentleman share is the need for a healthy lifestyle. It is highly unlikely that you would find a gentleman sitting on a couch munching on potato chips for hours on end.

Being healthy and active is also very helpful for your love life, whether you’re in a relationship or simply looking for love. We will cover the gentleman’s love life in another post. Being active and healthy can also help you deal with emotions which is very important to your mental well being. See my previous post Controlling Emotion.

Whatever your lifestyle is right now, and whether or not you’re a gentleman, aiming toward a healthy lifestyle is beneficial for everyone and very important for a living a long and healthy life. If you wish to get the most out of life then practice a healthy lifestyle.

Controlling Emotion

Emotions can make life rather complicated, however they can also be powerful tools for us if directed in the right way. Every human being is capable of having emotions. It can be said that we have different degrees of how we feel emotion. Some people are extremely sensitive while others feel very little emotion. But just because you’re a sensitive person doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t grab control of your emotions.

As men, we are expected to control our emotions, yet there are so many of us that feel much more than other men and even some women. Does that mean that we are less of a man? Of course not! It means that we are sensitive and there is nothing wrong with us. Like I said before, it doesn’t matter how sensitive you are; you can still control your emotions.

What is the importance of being able to control your emotions? How does it benefit you? Emotions are a powerful tool if utilized correctly. Powerful emotions can drive you to action, push you to succeed and even give you vast amounts of strength you never knew that you had. On the flip side of the coin however, emotions can ultimately destroy your life, relationships, and your reputation.

So how does a gentleman control his emotions? There are many methods out there that could be used to control your emotions. When you are angry you want to lose control and do and say things that you may regret later. Controlling anger isn’t easy especially if you have anger issues. The best way to keep your anger under control is to take a deep breath and not say anything. Keep your face stiff and start to think about the consequences in that moment rather than regretting it after you lash out. When someone we love hurts us we become so emotional that we sometimes do things to hurt ourselves without thinking about the ramifications of the actions we’re about to take. A gentleman must always put things into perspective no matter how much he is feeling in that moment. Once you put things into perspective, everything that you are feeling becomes manageable.

The key to controlling your emotions is to think. Think before you act and think before you speak. There are always consequences for acting out emotionally. Just because you’re emotional doesn’t mean that people are going to give you a free pass to do say and say whatever you want.

We’re all human and it’s difficult to control our emotions sometimes. We don’t have to be in control all the time, but as long as we’re conscious of it we will eventually be able to master our emotions and, more importantly, master ourselves.

Proper manners and Etiquette of a Gentleman.

The topic of proper manners and etiquette, for the most part, is a pretty complex subject. For instance, how do we know what is acceptable behavior? who decides what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t? Of course, we have Laws that govern certain behaviors and punishments for behaving in ways that go against the laws of the land. However, what about unsavory behaviors that are not against the law? How do we draw the line as human beings living in society?

A very popular saying comes to mind “Do unto those as you would have them do unto you” For those of you who don’t know what that means, it simply says that you should treat others the same way that you would like to be treated by them. For example, if you would like people to speak to you in a respectful tone, you wouldn’t speak to others condescendingly or disrespectfully.

Another reason why this is such a complex subject, is that everyone is different. Behavior that seems acceptable to you may not be acceptable to someone else. For example, if you, as a man, view walking around shirtless as OK, others may not share your view I.E women. There is a general consensus that everybody shares as being proper behavior or “Common courtesy”.

Gentlemen are masters of proper manners and etiquette. They apply courtesy practices that were developed 100’s of years ago that are still appreciated today although it’s rare to witness. Things such as letting someone go first through a door, controlling their tempers and emotions throughout the day, saying “please” “Thank” and “excuse me”, always letting a lady walk in-front of them, etc,etc. These are just some of the aspects of behavior that gentleman portray in their daily lives. But why is it important to have proper manners and etiquette in society? There are many reasons, one of which is to avoid unnecessary negative social interactions such as getting into a verbal or even physical altercations which would ruin both party’s day. Besides trying to avoid negative social interaction, using proper etiquette and manners could really make someone’s day. For example, if you give up your seat on a train to let a pregnant woman sit down, she would feel really good about herself and so would you. Most of the time being a well mannered man is for your own benefit. Doing something nice for someone, even if it’s just a little nice, could make you feel great about yourself and raise your confidence up a few bars too.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying that you should be nice to everyone. All i’m saying is show people your values even if not everybody appreciates it. It’s all about you and how you feel. Be better than the petty guy. Be a Gentleman.

Dress The Part.

Each and everyday we all get up in the morning and dress ourselves for work or for school. We dress ourselves when we go out to the mall or to social events. Do we ever stop to think about what we’re putting on? Or what kind of clothes we buy from the store? If we really stopped and thought about it, we would realize that each of us has our own unique identity when it comes to the clothes that we wear. For example, if you wear a snap-back and boots everywhere you go then your friends and family will be able to easily recognize you even from a distance because that is a part of your identity.

How you dress is a reflection of yourself and how you feel in that particular moment that you started dressing yourself. We should all wear what we feel comfortable in and what we think makes us look good. However, the reality is that our dress code is influenced by others because we’re afraid of being judged or afraid of being singled out.

The gentleman doesn’t care who is judging him nor does he care if he is singled out. Because like I stated in my previous post, “What does being a gentleman really mean?”, the gentleman is confident himself and has an extremely high self-esteem. With that being said, the clothes that you wear can also make you feel confident in yourself even if you aren’t. Let’s say you’re preparing for a job interview. You aren’t very confident in yourself and your nerves start to kick in. A million negative thoughts begin to swim around in your brain and all this while you’re sitting up on your bed having just turned off your alarm clock. Sure, there’s quite a few tips and tricks out there that explain how to mentally prepare for an interview and some of them are pretty good. However, putting on a perfect fit suit, wearing a classy looking watch, and slapping on some cuff-links for good measure, can exponentially increase your self-confidence and positively affect the way others will perceive you.

Personally, I like wearing suits because it gives off and aura of being confident and powerful while looking classy and sophisticated. Accessories that compliment your outfit are also important such as watches, ties, shoes, and even cuff-links.

All in all, how we dress is very important. Not just for the way others see us, but how we see ourselves. Regardless of what you wear; the most important thing to remember is to dress in something that you feel looks good on you and what makes you feel comfortable.

The way you dress is your identity. Own it.

 

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